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Discipleship in the New Age I - Personal Instructions to Disciples - R.R.R.
May 1939 BROTHER OF MINE: You may here rightly ask me: In what way do I hinder? I am not ambitious. I do not make trouble of a group kind; I only make trouble for myself. I try to be loving and kind. I work as hard as I think I should. I love the truth and I endeavor to meet requirements. All of this may be true, my brother, but these statements do not constitute an alibi for what is wrong. The thing that can wreck the building work, which your group is intended to do, is the violence of your reactions and vibrations when you are emotionally upset (and this is of frequent occurrence) and the furious self-assertion whereby you endeavor to justify such violence, and your dramatic self-pity. Unless you can learn to decentralize yourself, and cease this constant self-thought and self-commiseration under all circumstances, and stop visualizing yourself at all times as in the center - yourself as the worker, yourself as the group member, yourself as the sufferer from others' misunderstandings and mistakes, yourself as of importance - and learn to see yourself as you truly are, you can and do hinder the work and imperil the future constructive work of the group. This you know. You love no one truly but yourself. If you loved truly and impersonally, you would not cause the pain you do to those who love and believe in your capacity; you would be more magnetic and this on a wider scale, for, as yet, you are only magnetic to those who recognize your personality and love your personality. It is from this lack that your work suffers. Yet it could so easily all be changed, if you learnt that divine indifference which you need - indifference to yourself and to your personality interests, likes and dislikes, indifference to your cares, anxieties and successes. You would then be in a position, really, to sense the importance of the work, the uniqueness of your opportunities at this time, and your really strategic position. But you are too full of fear and of self-interest and so fail to [662] make the needed impact upon those who need your help. They get the impact of your cares and fears and your demand to be liked. Can you change this? I am telling you nothing new. Among the chelas in my Ashram, you are in the position of the naughty, wilful child, for your errors and faults are those of a child and are not adult faults at all. You dream in a child's dream world. You must grow up, my brother, for the world needs adult workers at this time and you can meet the need; you can do great and good work; you can make a soul impact upon those around you; you can cease from being a destructive agent and become a constructive worker. But this will only be possible if your likes and dislikes, your personality determinations and affections, your feeling and your physical ailments fade out of the picture and only the world's need remains and the longing to meet it - as you can. As, I repeat, you can. I and the group need you. I offer you neither suspension nor the opportunity to resign. I ask you to face the issue and make good. Fight this matter out and fight it out alone. Learn to keep the things which concern yourself to yourself - a thing you have never yet learnt. Do not let your group brothers down by resigning or by a violent explosion - the repercussions of which must hurt and damage. Face life steadily, like an adult who has learnt in the school of wisdom, that the trend of all things is good. Handle life with love as a member of the New Group of World Servers. NOTE: This disciple is still fighting out the battle but no indication has yet come from the Tibetan that the victory is sufficiently gained to warrant more active work in the Ashram. R. R. R. is still outwardly inactive in relation to the group.
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